Why Akshay Kumar's wife is not a big star as he is?




Because


Twinkle Twinkle Little Star! :-)

Pathan was waiting 4 Train with His Wife

Train Aai, Uper Likha Tha "Khyber Mail"

Pathan Bhag kar Charh gaya. Aur Biwi se kaha:



Jab "Khyber Female" Aye To Tm b Charh Jana.

Teacher: LOVE kese hota hai?

Student: Miss ge…”L” ko pakar ke,
“O” ko daba ke,
“V” mein dalo,
jab “E” kee awaz aaye to samjho k “LOVE” ho gaya

“zindgi ki race main 1st anay k liye hamesha ye soch kar bhago k peche l*n hai.
Agar rukay to gand main ghus jaye ga

A man jumps into bed & starts s*x.
Women in bed says:Jija jee mein aap ki biwi nahe sali hoon RADHA!!!
Man:Ab kahan ki RADHA jab ghus gaya aadha….!

Aadi raat ko aadmi apni Moti Biwi se: Begum! Sisak sisak k marna acha hai ya aik dum?
Biwi: EK dum.
Aadmi: To phir apni doosri taang bhi mere ooper rakh do.

1 daku larki ka rap kr raha hota hai
Rap k doran wo larki se poochta hai
Tumara boy friend kaha hai
Larki kahti hai
Tum skoon se ch*do wo gan*o sms par raha hai

Dr. sab main jb BV ko kiss karta hu to us k muu se
Smell aati hy
.
Dr.
“kamal hy jb main ne check up kya tb to lips stick ki khushbu thi”

Walima k Din sassur punjabi damaad say:
Aray miya such batao tum ne humari bitya ko kesa paya,

Nurse:Sir 22 no bed waley patient ka 4 dafa BP check kia,
her dafa barh jata hai …

Docter: Ab check karo to apni Shirt k uper k 3 button band ker leyna…

Girl: Tum itney kalay Q ho?
Boy: Bus aise hi
Girl: Batau na
Boy: Kala hoon to is main tere bap ka kia jata hai?
Girl: Merey baap ka jata to itne kalay na hotay ..!!

Gareeb shohor bola:
Lagta hai ab dosto ke
aage hath phailana
paren ge….

Biwi:Jaldi se tum hath
phaila lo, warna mujhe
taangein phailana parein
gi……………………-

1 Dehati Red Dhoti or white
banyan main jaa raha tha:

kuch larkiyon ne daikha tu kaha:

oh “Red&White”

Dehati ne dhoti uthai or
Bola:

:King Size Filter”

Bus stop pe ek ladki wisper ka packet leke khadi thi.
Bhikhari; kuch de do.
Ladki; kuch nahi hai.
Bhikhari; ye bread ka packet hi de do.
Ladki; kal aana sos laga ke dungi.

Officer: Tumhy Airhostes ne Thapar Q mara?

Sardar: uski Qamiz hip mai ghusi the,

maine bahir nikali to vo ghusy sy
dekhny lage,

Phir?Maine wapis ghusa de,

Teacher: macharon ko peda hoone se rokna hoga.

Student:ye to na mumkin hai.

Teacher:kuon?

Student:itna chota condom kisi ka baap nhi bana sakta..!

Bus Stop per ;

Larka larki say bola;Sandle bohat achi pehni hai

larki: Utar kar dikhaun kya??

larka; is say ziyada achi to shalwar pehni hay..

Sardar B.V se:
Tum Baby ko kya pilati ho?
Wife: Doodh or Orange Juice.
Sardar: Oye! Tu ne Kabhi bataya nahi,
Orange Juice kis Side Se Aata Hai.

Student:Miss ladkiyon ko 13 saal se pehle bachha nahi hota na?

Miss:Ha,beta nahi hota.

Student: to apni beti ko samjhaiye faaltu mein dar rahi ha.

Raat 3 Bajay Unknwn number se phone aya
Hello! yahan SHAGUFTA MEHFOOZ rehti hain?

AWAZ AAI
SALAY Raat K 3 Bajay SHAGUFTA Mere pas Hoti to Kiya MEHFOOZ rehti?

Girl1: mai car k neche ajaoon tu colege se 1mah ki chuti..
Girl2: mai bus k neche ajaoon tu 2mah ki chuti..
Boy: tm dono mere neche ajao tu 9,9 mah ki chuti ;

Techer to boy:
"Khamosh ho jao, nahi to Khara kr doon gi."
.




All the Boyz shouted,

"Pehlay mera
Pehlay mera...":-);-)

Newton ne apple niche girte dekha aur GRAVITY discover ki.

Koi us GADHEY se ye puche k ABEY SAALAY!
25 saal se POTTY karta tha to wo kya UPER JATI THI ?

Nurse gave newborn baby to sardar, He screamed "Puttar hua hay! Puttar hua hay!"

Nurse shouted: "Abbay andhay, larki hui hai, meri ungli chor..

Tumhary saath kia masla hai?
har wakt pregnent rehti ho
jab bhi tumhain sms kia, tumhari delivery report aa jati hai.

Boy: BUS aur LARKI aik jaisi hoti hain, 1 jaati hai to doosri aa jati hai. Girl: RAKSHAY aur LARKAY ek jaisay hotay hain, 1 ko bulao 4 chale aate hain…

School mein bachay kay papa nay teacher say kahaa:
Madam jee Thodee ap koshish karoo,
thodee hum kartay hein,
bachaa tou nikal hee jaye gaa...!

Sardar:yar meri biwi pani say bohat darti hai.
Friend:kaisay pata chala?
Sardar:yar kal mai ghar pohncha to woh bath tub mai bhi security guard k sath baithi thi...

Dr. sab main jb BV ko kiss karta hu to us k muu se Smell aati hy
Dr.
kamal hy jb main ne check up kya tb to lips stick ki khushbu thi..

Raat ko 1 larki na car ko rukne ka ishara kia,
Car kareeb aa ke ruki to larki boli"oh em sorry! mai samjhi taxi hai"
Car wala bola, " mein b yahi samjha tah"

Bus Driver:
Kuri Ne Tenu Thapar Kiyoon Maraya?

Conductor:
Paani Wala Daba Kuri Di Seat Thalay C Mein Keya Bibi Zara Lattaan Chukna Mein Apna Pani Kadna Aay ;->

Boy:Mai 20 year ka hoon,tum kitny ki ho?
Girl:Mein b 20 year ki hoon.
Boy:Tou phir chalen?
Girl:Kahan?
Boy:Bedroom mein
Girl:Q?
Boy:20 20 khelne....

Husband: darling tum pepsi ki tarah ho jitna piyun aur maza aata hai
Wife: hubby tum slice ki tarah ho jab maza aanay lagta hai khatam ho jata hai !!!!!

Mom:kyun rotey ho?
son:dad ne muje kiss nhi di
Mom:tumne tables nhi sunaye hoge.
son:Kaam wali ko kaunse tables aatey he?

Dulhay ne 1st nite dulhan ki ankh par kiss ki aur bola

"ankhain shakhsiat ki kitab hoti hai"


dulhan: tum kitabo may khoye ho nichay library me aag lagi hoi he

Khan ki biwi aadhi raat ko chillanay lagi

khan ji jaldi uttho billi sara doodh pee gaye

Khan:Ulloo ki patthi kitni bar kaha hai kameez pehan kar soya kar

Ek aurat apne bachey ke saath Pathan ke khiloney ki dukan pe gayi.
Bache ne zid ki ke khilona lena hai.
Aurat ne kaha: Khan sahab issey darao.
Khan sahab bola: Chup behench*d zid karta hai, ainda kiya to tumhara maa ko ch*d de ga.
Aurat boli: Bus khan sahab ab to is ki maa bhi darr gayi hai.

Aik bacha aunty ki chaddi pe ishaara ke ke bola: Is me kya hai??

Aunty: Is mein Aag hai.

Bacha: Meri mungphali sek do.

Aunty: No beta shaam ko uncle is me bhutta sekenge.

Mom to kid : jo bache angootha chooste hain unka pait phool jata hai .

Aik din bache ne Aik pregnant aurat ko dekha aur kaha:

Muje pata hai tum kya Chusti ho.

At a dance Party

Boy asks a girl:Will U dance with me?
Girl:Mai bachy k sath dance nhi karti!
Boy:So sorry mujhy nhi pata tha k aap pregnant hain!

Boy:Bus male hoti hai ya female

Girl:Female

Boy:Why?

Girl:Us pe sub charhty hain

Boy:Tou wo Pregnant kyn nhi hoti

Girl:Stupid saray mard pechay sai charhty hain

Arz kiya hai!

Jhalak kafi hai dil ka mareez banane ke liye,

Wah Wah Wah

Tune itni bari shalwar pehni hai

Itni choti si cheez chupane ke liye.

A couple had a fight one night
Going to bed Husband says:
Good night mother of my 3 kids.
Wife Replied: Good night father of none

Father: You should marry this girl.
She is Kalavati, Gunwanti and Roopmati.

Son: I'll have to marry my girlfriend coz she's Garbhavati.

Q: What is differance between Aadami & Aurat?
A: Aurat ek hi aadami se bahut sari ummeed karti hai.

Aur aadami bahut sari aurato se ek hi ummeed karta hai..

Raat ke 2 baje ek admi bahu ke kamre
se nikla aur chala gaya.
Saas ne dekha lekin kuch na boli
Kyu…

Kyunki saas bhi kabhi bahu thi

Mother, to her teenage daughter, -
I think its right time, we should talk about sex.

Daughter: Sure mom, what do you want to know?

Sardar: Yar meri biwi pani se bohat darti hai.
Friend: Acha wo kaise?
Sardar: Yar kal mein ghar gaya to wo bathtub
mai bhi security guard k sath bethi thi!

A man was traveling in a train with 3 babies
A woman inquired - Do these babies belong 2 u?
Man: No, I work in a condom factory n

these r customers’ complaints

Teacher: What is your caste?
Student: Pehle hum Singh they,
Phir Rajput hue,
Phir Sharma ho gaye,
Abhi hai Darzi….
Aaage Mummy ki marzi

2 Lovers Went 2 c film
a mosquito enters into boy’s pent
.
n guess Where it bites?
.
.
.
Naughty mind,
alWays think bad!
.
.
.
it bites on . .
.
.
.
.
.
Girl’s hand…

1 aurat najumi se, kia mere haath mei dolat ki lakir hy?
Najomi
Yes ap k pas dolat ki do lakire hy 1
agay 2sri piche Ab apki marzi hy jis se marzi dolat kamao

1 man asks shopkeeper: Is UNDERWEAR ki kya garranty hai?
Shpkeeper: 12ve manzil se jump mar kay dekh,
Gand phat jayegi par yeh nahin phatay gee!

Arz kia hai
Pink lips are the girls beauty…
Wah..Wah..
Pink lips are the girls beauty..
And kissing them is boys duty..!

New married Larki se uski saheli ne pucha

Honey Moon manane kahan gaye thy?

Larki : Islamabad, Lahore, Muree

Saheli : kia kia dheka?

Larki : Chatt aur Pankha

Kyunki
Ghalib Ne Arz Kiya Hai

Raat Bhar Sharab Pi, Rat Cut Gai
Subah Jab Hisaab Kiya, Gaand Phat Gai

A Man to his Wife..very sweetly: Darling r u free tonight?
Wife: saale.. Free ke bache.. Aaj se pehle kabhi paise liye hain tere se.. !!

Picho lagya na kar meri jan sajna,ago hel janda a pora saman sajana..
picho lagdey nai musalman sajna menu lagna tu ha koi pathan sajna.

boy says to girl main tum ko without tuch kiya kiss karoo ga ….
girl says ye to ho hi nahi sakta…
.boy says to lag hai 20 20 rupay ki ….
girl says ok….boy kissed girl titely….
girl says tum ne to mujay tuch kiya hai …..
boy say ye loo 20 rupay

Larka Larki Went On A Date,
Baap Ki Cal Aayi,
Baap: Kaha Ho?
Beta: Practical Kar Raha Hu
Baap: Dehan Se Practical Krna Kahin Exam Se Phle Result Na A Jae

1 Nangi larki ne Bar me Pac ka order dia!
Waiter dekhta reh geya.
Larki: Kabhi nangi larki nhi dekhi?
Waiter: Han dekhi hai but Main soch raha hon, tu paisy kahan se nikalegi.

Teacher: go, went gone ko punabi main convert karo,
Student: O gaya, O nass gaya, O pharo Udi Pen nuu…..
Ha ha ha….

propose karne ka ek damjakkas style..
kya ghoor ghoor ke dekhti hai..
mar dale gi kya..??
dil daina haiti dai de..
rakh ke achaar dalegi kya??

Teacher to sardar:
Nadia rozana larkoun say baat karti hai batao
iss main nadia kia hai?
Sardar: iss main nadia bagairat hai

A small kid wrote to Santa Claus,
“Send Me A Brother”
Santa wrote back,
“Send Me Your Mother”

2 women talks:
1st: Roz subha mera Doodh wala bohat Dabata hai
.
.
.
“Bel”
2nd: Mera tu Paper wala acha hai bilkul bhi nahi Dabata Nechey se hi Daal deta hai
.
.
.
“Paper”

kia Aap ko Pata Hai?
\ /
(’_’)
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WABDA walo ko Itna Bara Keera Hai.

Catch her by her waist…
Bring her home..
Keep ur hand on her neck
Put ur lips on her lips
& have a …
…nice drink…PEPSI

Girls are like phones.
We like to be held
and talked too-
but if u press the
wrong button
u’ll be disconnected!

He came at night,
explored my body,
got on top of me,
touched me, he bit,
sucked, swalowd,
when he was satisfyed,
he left, i was hurt,
.
.
.
BLOODY… MOSQUITO !!!!

Sex is good
sex is funny
many people sex for money
but if you think sex is funny
then do it yourself and save your money.

Ur my

Funny,
Understanding,
Cute,
Kind,
Intelligent,
Naughty,
Great,
Sweet,
Honest,
Independent,
Truthful friend

in short u r my F.U.C.K.I.N.G S.H.I.T. friend.

What’s an average 6 inch long Inside a guy’s pants
and girls love to blow it up?
?
?
?
?
A:1000- rupee currency note.!
Always think positive

Wife:-remove my nighty.
Husband:-OK,
Wife:-remove my panty,
Husband:-OK. Wife:-remove my bra,
Husband:-OK.
. . .
. . .
. . .
Wife:-Don’t wear my cloths next time.

A short thing
its get longer as u hold it
& pass between woman’s breast
& enters into a small hole
What is it?

cars seat belt…u dirty mind